April 25, 2017

Being Cactus


Yes it’s a weird title for an article. B-e-i-n-g C-a-c-t-u-s. It’s very difficult to express how I am feeling. Few will find it funny, few will find it surprising, many will be shocked, and yes, some will be like “Why Atul… Why???” But yes, it is like that, I feel like a cactus. Now you’ll say why Cactus?
Yes a Cactus. “Ohhh it’s so scary”, “It has prickles”, “It can hurt”, “and It’s bad”. Bad, well not really. Just so you know, it has prickles to safeguard itself from others. From those merciless animals out there. It’s scary but who made it that way? Or why is it that way? A memory revisit to 9th standard Biology class will tell you it has to be fleshy to retain water, retain water in desert. To retain the spark of life in death full of darkness. It was its fate to be fleshy, to be spooky and to be dangerous. But there is nothing it can do for this. A Cacti is born to give pain in order to live. Hope there could have been some technology to get to know how a cactus feels. I am sure it must be feeling like me. You know what is worst? That feeling when you know you have to hurt your loved ones knowing that’s the last thing you wanna do but you have to do In order to make them un-love you cause they love you much but you know you are not entitled for that. Ya, I know it’s too complex well life also is. Isn’t it?
A Cacti is forever alone but should it be? For many it’s just a decorative material. It is kept to boost the morale of the fashionista inside you. Cactus is meant to make a style statement. Look around, there are many types of Cactuses. Some are short, some are long, some are cylindrical and some are spherical. But howsoever they are, these all are entitled for just one treatment- Keep Safe distance. Distance from friends, distance from neighbors distance from loved ones. And if you’ll not follow this rule, if you’ll try to come closer to a Cacti, you will get pricked by it. You will end up hurting yourself. A Cactus is meant for corner place in your drawing room and it is certainly not meant for your bedroom. The best part is, Cactus knows this. The Cactus knows its fate and that’s why people try to show their care for that. Just to give the Cacti a false hope. When the truth is a Cacti is likeable but not lovable.
519218-3c532daaa05de3314d4025fc659f21b0
I remember those childhood days when I with my father and brother were used to go to test our Sniper Skills with an Air-Gun to a jungle full of trees and yes some Cactus. I remember once I thought just for change lets shoot those Cactuses. Pulled the gun, aimed and “Dhishkiyaoo’n”, nothing happened. Now I focused like Arjun in Mahabharata, again Aimed, pulled the trigger, pellet fired but nothing happened to the Cacti. I repeated this 7 to 8 times, every time the same result. The Cacti didn’t moved by a millimeter. By this bro was Laughing & teasing me that I’m such a bad in shooting. I was so furious that I threw away the Air-Gun and went near the Cacti thumping my feet on ground in frustration.  It was then when I noticed there were total 8 holes in the Cacti
Actually, Cactus also has one more peculiar property that there flesh is pretty soft, so much so that it acts like a shock absorber. We standing several feet away didn't noticed that these pellets actually went through that cactus. That means you can’t know what a Cactus is going through from a distance. To know the real pain of the Cactus you need to come really close to it, which the Cactus never wants you to do cause you’ll get hurt in the process. So whenever and wherever you see a Cacti take care of it. And yes it’s not that bad being a Cactus as it sounds. Though It's quite complex, but yes that's how I'm feeling now.

April 16, 2017

ToastMaster - The New Journey

Hello friends
I was thinking of joining of TM for a very long time but joined it recently. Sharing with you my CC 2 speech for which I won the Best Speaker Award too competing with people delivering their CC 10 and ALB....

Ravi Kant Sharma
PWS
9461257111


संगीत ही मेरी असली पहचान हैं

दोस्तों जैसा की मैंने अपनी पिछली पोस्ट में बताया था की ट्रेनिंग में हमने बहुत से एक्टिविटीज की, उन्हीं में से संगीत भी एक था।  आपके साथ अपने वीडियो साझा कर रहा हूँ। और हां इसके लिए मुझे अवार्ड भी मिला।  हाहाहाहा...

हमने एक नाटक भी किया था लेकिन उसका वीडियो मेरे पास अभी नहीं हैं।  जैसे ही वीडियो आता हैं मैं आपके साथ साझा करता हूँ।

सादर
रवि कांत शर्मा
(हकलाने वाला व्यक्ति)
9461257111




खुद को मुक्त कर देना

दोस्तों काफी समय से मैं ब्लॉग पर नहीं लिख पाया, समय काफी था पर मेरा प्रबधन शायद सही नहीं था। इसलिए वीडियो के माध्यम से घटनाओ को साझा कर रहा हु।

सादर
रवि कांत शर्मा
(हकलाने वाला व्यक्ति)
9461257111





April 15, 2017

Socialisation into gender

I came across this wonderful video about socialisation into gender..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BX40VRSKN4Q

धिस इस माय स्टाईल..


मेरी बेटी स्वरा भी हकलाती है. बचपनसे. ओव्हर्ट है. मैने मेरी तरफ से उसे मै समजाता हू. बहुत बाते करता हू उससे.
उसका सून के लेता हू. बडे प्यार से. कभी कभी एक वाक्य बोलने के लिये वो पांच मिनिटं से ज्यादा समय लेती है.
फ़िर भी मै उतनी ही सहजता से उसे सूनता हू. उसे समजाता हू. अपने तरिके से.
समजती है वो..
कभी रोती है
पर बोलना नही छोडती वो
कभी तुटती है कभी बिखरती है..
महज दस साल कीं है वो
मै उसको समजाता हूं.
अपना बोलनेका एक अलग स्टाइल है
ऐसेंही हम बोलते है
बिनदास्त रहनेका
खुल के बोलने का..
ये सूनके मुस्कुरा देती है वो..
उसका नाम स्वरा है..
उस दिन मुझसे पुछ बैठी वो..
क्या मतलब है स्वरा का?
मैं बोला..
स्वरा याने मिठी आवाज..
जो सून के मन में थंडक आवे
जो आवाज मन को भावे
जिसे सूनने को सबका दिल चाहे..
ये सूनकर हस पडी
और मै न चाहते हुवे मन में रो दिया..
आज स्कूल से आई और लंपट मुझसे गयी..
मैने कुछ ना पुछा उसे..
कुछ अंतराल के बाद खुद बोली मुझसे..
” पता है पापा आज स्कूल में क्या हुवा?
मैने कुछ ना पुछा..
फिर बोली..
मेरे फ्रेंड मुझे हरदम बो बो बो बोलते थे कि स्व स्व स्व… स्वरा तू ऐसें क्यो बात करती है?
व्हा व्हा व्हाय यू स्प स्प स्पिक लाईक दॅट?
मेरे पास कुछ जवाब न था पापा…
मैं सहमाकर खुदको कोस रहा था..
मेरा बचंपन फ्लॅश बॅक की तरह सामने आ रहा था..
मन में एक ही खयाल..
अब आगे क्या? कही मेरा अतिथ तो नही सामने आयेगा मेरे?
मेरा अतिथ हंस रहा था मुझपे…
मैं उसकी नजरे टाल रहा था..
स्वरा मुझे देख रही थी..
कूछ तो सोच रही थी…
मैने धीरज समेंटकर उसे देखा…
उसकी आखो में अजीब सा नझारा देख रहा था मैं..
मेरा हाथ हाथोमे पकडे मेरी स्वरा मुझसे बोली..
.
पापा आ आ रिसेस में आजभी फ्रेंड्स ने पुछा तू तू तू ऐसें क्यो बोलती है?
मैने कहा..
धिस इस माय स्टाईल.. इफ यू यू वॉन्ट टू लर्न इट देन आई आई आई विल टिच यू ऑल…
स्वरा की आखे अब चमक रही थी..
ऐसी आखे ना मैने आजतक देखी ना सुनी..
वो बोली…
उसके बाद किसिने मुझे पुछा नही की स्व स्व स्व स्वरा तू ऐसें क्यो बोलती है?
आज बेटी ने कभी ना भुलने वाला पाठ पढाया.
सही मायनो में मुझे सिखा गयी मेरी 10 साल की टीचर..
काश मैं जब उसकी उमर का था तब ये सिख पाता? जिंदगी कुछ और होती हम भी कुछ और होते…
अपने व्यंग को कभी धुत्काराना नही उसे समजाना और उसे अपनी ताकत बनाना.
मैं देखता रह गया और वो मुझे सिखाके बॅडमिंटन खेलने चली गयी..
संतोष
TISA Mumbai SHG

April 13, 2017

This is my style...


My daughter Swara stammers since her early childhood,just like me.. Her stammering is overt. I try to make her understand… I talk to her so much..I listen to  her talks too, with much love.. At times she takes more than five minutes to complete a sentence. Still I listen to her with patience.. I try to make her understand in my own way..She understands..sometimes she cries..but she does not stop speaking.. At times she becomes  disheartened..
She is just 10 year old..
I try to make her understand that our speaking style is different…
We speak in this way only..
We need to be carefree..
We have to speak freely..
She smiles when she  listens to my such  talks..
Her name is Swara.. The other day she asked me the meaning of Swara..
I replied that Swara means sweet voice, which soothes the mind.. which everybody loves to listen to.. She smiled listening to my explanation,  and though unwillingly, I cried within…
Today she returned from school and hugged me.. I remained silent.. After sometime she spoke-“Papa, do you know what happened today at school?”..I was silent…She continued.”My friends always ask me  that Sw.sw.swara why do you sp.sp..speak this way.. I had no answer to this question Papa..”
I was cursing myself.. My childhood flashed  in front of me.. My only thought was-what next.. would my past haunt me again? My past was mockingly staring at me.. I was averting its gaze..
Swara was watching me, some thoughts passing through her mind ..
I reclaimed my composure and looked at her..a strange expression gleamed in her eyes..
Holding my hands in hers, she said” Papa, today again my friends taunted me that w..why do I ssspeak this way.. I replied that this is my style.. If you wish to learn it then I can teach you all..”
Swara’s eyes were gleaming now.. I have never seen or heard of such eyes …She continued..”After that, no one asked me that ww..why do I speak th..this way.”
Today, my daughter taught me the lesson of a lifetime..
My ten year old daughter taught me in true sense.. What if I had learnt this lesson when I was her age..Life would have been different!! I would have been a different person.. Never abhor the taunt of others, understand it and make it your strength..
I kept looking, as my daughter hopped away to play badminton..

Originally posted in Hindi by Santosh(Mumbai SHG), translated by Abhishek..

April 9, 2017

New Insights

Here is a true story of a girl who stammered, but ho came out of her problems using a SOCIAL route. Seeing stammering, not as a disease but a social issue is view which works and which is increasingly becoming popular.. Check it out:

http://www.voice-online.co.uk/article/young-woman-overcomes-stammer-and-goes-mentor-others 

Ajmer SHG: First SHG Report

Ajmer 1st Shg meeting report:
Members
1:Pawan
2:Murlidhr
3:Gaurav

Meeting started 10:00
Location :  Anasagar lake , Ajmer

Starting with introduction then yoga and meditation.
Speech on general topics like politics by Murlidhr , Ajmer tourism by Pawan and Indian history by me (Gaurav).. then story making by loud speaking in public, this activity was very interesting one because we had choosen a public place so kids and public got gathered and all were listening story with great interest and enjoying with there local food by vender..
Then we had photo session at beautiful location of Anasagar lake.
Finally we dealt with public , telling and asking them about stammering, very interesting it was .. people listened with great interest and replied us. They all took it positively.. we talked with 9-10 peoples there..

For joining SHG meetings in Ajmer, contact:
Gaurav : 09887245139
Pawan : 08104053393
Murlidhar : 09001868105

March 27, 2017

!!!Documentary on S-S-Stammering by Ahmedabad SHG!!!

It was the sunny day in Vastrapur lake with the beautiness of plants and trees and people doing morning walk around us.

We were four members (Vipul,Vivek,Harshil,Partik)  who gathered to do work on  communication 
skills.The agenda of meeting took U turn when we saw Ananth student of post graduation from National Institute 
of  Design who reached to us with his cameras and voice recorder to shoot the  documentary on 
stammering. 




It was our first exposure to represent our self in front of Cameras as a stammerer. Ananth and his 
classmate Gautam were well prepared with their questions and we did not hesitated to reply even a single 
question related to our life or of stammering. It was unique for us to speak in front of camera with the free mind . 



March 26, 2017

White Paper on Comm WS

These guidelines are NOT mandatory. These are only Good practices, offered as advise. PWS who are organizing Communication Workshop or such events may adopt or adapt these ideas, based on their requirements and local realities.
1. Number of participants should not be more than 25 (ideally 20). Girls, young and new participant should have preference over old tisa regulars AFAP. In larger groups, new comers and shy people may not get much chance to speak or individual feedback from the facilitator.
2. Facilitators should be a team of two (or three) experienced, well informed pws, who have spent some time on the path of self-help. Focus should be on Learning by doing: Group activities where people learn about themselves and their stammering. Like Role plays, videography, stranger talk, Stammering Interviews etc. rather than “Expert” LECTURES!
3. The facilitators should develop an agenda in advance and think through minutely EVERY activity- and should get it vetted by other experienced facilitators in or outside TISA.
4. The screened and selected participants should be put in an whatsapp or email group at least 6 weeks in advance for getting to know each other and cover as much ground as possible, BEFORE they meet. Many new-comers may need to read some basic documents on Acceptance and other ideas promoted by TISA.
5. For advance preparation- the participants should be asked to put up a text bio and a self-video on TISA blog/ site PLUS therapy history or whatever they have done in the past, to help themselves. (TISA can not help them unless they are willing to open up and go public); a conference call / Skype / Hangout with all the participants 1-2 weeks before Workshop can also be a very useful step. Facilitators get to actually HEAR the participants and accordingly prepare- and decide, who needs more attention/ help.
6. Workshop can be either 1 or 2 or 3 day long- depending on facilitators, venue and other factors. Even in 1 day workshop, outdoor activity should take precedence over indoor discussion. Intellectual discussions never end. What benefits us is confronting our FEARS in real life situations- with help of a group.
7. Social activities - dancing, singing, reciting poems, role plays, mini speeches should be accommodated since pws often have under-developed social skills.
8. A T-shirt with a bold statement about acceptance of stammering should be worn on all the days of the workshop wherever possible. Communication WS is not just about promoting good communication skills - but it is also about EMPOWERING pws.. Putting such a T shirt and going out in public can be a big step in that direction.
9. If all participants can stay close together- to promote feeling of belonging to a community - it will be helpful. But it is OK if some local participants join during the day only.
10. Last activity, should be personal goal planning, which can and should be followed up, by the group, through whatsapp or other means.
11. Atmosphere should be focused but never boring. Serious and joyful. Also, we should maintain atmosphere fair to everyone- women, young, ethnic / linguistic minority etc. Let there be respect for everyone.
12. These workshops should always be self-sustained. Registration fee should take care of almost all the direct expenses. It should not become a financial burden on any one person. Financial details should be shared on the blog/website/ or with National Coordinator.
13. On some evening, on the side lines, try and accommodate and open session for those PWS/ parents of PWS/ just curious people, who come to know about TISA through media coverage and promotions and who have not registered in advance. This can be kept on the final day (only if workshop duration is more than 1 day). If some journalist want to participate in this open session, they too should be welcomed.
14. The facilitators should also engage in follow-up, through emails or whatsapp, answering questions and offering hand-holding post workshop.

15. A brief report, with couple of pictures, on the blog is a good idea – for future reference. The report should describe briefly the activities and also have a crisp analysis OR important lessons learned and training resources used in the workshop.

(Harish and Sachin)

Stammering condition review

Pasting here the same email i sent to Satyendra ji .

"
Hi
I am Sandesh Gawai from Mumbai . I had written a blog on TISA some 9 - 10 years ago . At that time , i did my 1st vipassana course and benefited immensely . I was free of stammering condition for alteast 4 months after I did my first course . But as time passed my inferiority complex again started increasing and I started avoiding people and conditions where I had to speak. And slowly slowly the stammering condition came back . I found that this happened because I did not continue meditation daily . As with any physical exercise , if we stop practicing regularly the benefits which we get begin to dissapear little by little .. I learnt about this simple Logic a little late ... 

So coming back to this month , I started practicing Vipassana again and also attended 2 SHG meeting a few weeks back . I found the SHG meetings​ very fruitful . It taught me to face the truth . And combined with regular meditation and monthly SHG meetings , I am sure to come out completely out of the "habit of feeling guilty" when I stammer. 
. " SHG meeting + daily practice of Vipassana + daily efforts to face the conditions/challenges" is a good way of coming out of inferiority complex and then later out of stammering too . Thats my view .

I want to thank you from all my heart for creating such group where persons who suffer because of stammering condition get so much relief and support to continue facing the challenges of life and enjoy life while being at peace with oneself. 

Thank you Satyendra ji ...you are doing a very meritious work of helping distressed people . Many blessings to you _/\_

March 24, 2017

Bangalore SHG March 19, 2017 meeting report

C:\Users\USER\AppData\Local\Microsoft\Windows\Temporary Internet Files\Content.Word\IMG-20170319-WA0001.jpg

We started our meeting with usual introduction round. In this Rohit explained how communication workshop has helped him to devise new strategies towards stammering. Making phone calls to strangers and practicing voluntary stammering in public places. This was followed by extempore round. This is aimed at improving ability to speak spontaneously and places a test on subjective knowledge. Next was self-description round. We need a select a line that describes us and speak over that line. Pramod took “beauty is in simplicity”. Fourth activity was an interesting game. Group members have to select a word which could be anything. Player has to find the word by asking questions to the group. This activity helps in improving our observation skills since you have to read other people thoughts. Organization of meeting was excellent. Time limit for each member was strictly followed. Attendees - Pramod, Rohit, Rajkumar, Anupam, Shobith, Abhinav, Jonali
Written By - Raj Kumar

Stammer Stories: Jaipur Communication Workshop ~ Sunoy Garai

I am a male PWS. I was born in 1996, now 20 years old. My parents originated from Shanti Niketan, West Bengal and are currently living in Gurgaon. Currently I am pursuing hotel management from Instiute of Hotel Management, Pusa, New Delhi.
For the first time in my life I realised that I was a stutterer when in 5th standard my teacher asked to recite a poem from a book. I realised that some words didn’t come out smoothly as they were used to before. The teacher asked me if I was nervous. But frankly, I wasn’t. I just went home and realised how much of an issue this can be.
Years passed and life went on and I just grew up with mild stuttering but was able to participate in an extempore or speech competitions and even won a few of them. After my secondary exams I changed my school. The people were new there and I felt lonely. I was slowly becoming an introvert person as I hesitated to speak to the new faces as I feared that they might judge too quickly. I made a couple of friends but was never the first one to start a conversation.
Two years went quite lonely for me as there was almost no interaction with any of my classmates and I always chose the corner seat where I would not be disturbed. My practical board exams got start and I was preparing for them. Things were going well until the viva. The viva I something like they are throwing stones at you and you have to dodge them. It was tougher for me than any theory exam. The teacher divided the students in groups with each of them having 5 students. When my group’s turn came I was the first one and I knew what I would be going through. The teacher asked all of us to tell the names. I stuttered in my name but somehow got it out. It was my turn and the teacher asked me question. I stuttered horribly and wasn’t even able to complete a whole sentence. The teacher asked me to have a glass of water and come back later. I went outside to drink water and I was thinking that when did I become like this. I was shocked to my core. I came back later and the teacher suggested to the take the viva with only me and not in any group. I agreed. He asked if I was nervous and uncomfortable. I was but I told him I wasn’t. He just told me to relax and answer the questions. Somehow I managed to complete the viva and the teacher wished me to do well in my life and not care about what people say.
After a few months, I moved to college. It was a new chapter of my life and I was afraid that the same would happen in college knowing what happened in school. On the first day itself, I made new friends and I always initiated the conversations. They asked if I had some problem in speaking and I frankly told them that I am a stutterer.
During my second year I noticed a boy was stuttering while ordering something from the canteen. I went upto him and asked if he was also a stutterer. He smiled and said yes. We became buddies after that. One day he said that he found a website which helps people overcome there stutter. We found a contact number from the website and we did not call but messaged, because of obvious reasons and found out that he was the admin of TISA Delhi SHG group. Soon we got the details and attended the first meeting and we were surprised that there were so many people like us. After that we attended some meetings and we felt much better and our morale was quite good.
The college was the best part of my life until the campus placements started. I always kept quiet in Group Discussions and was mostly out of the first round itself. One of my subject teacher told me that I should speak in Group Discussions as the panel won’t know that I stutter until I speak.
He even made me practice to speak in GD’s. Many companies came and I tried hard but couldn’t clear the GD’s. My first break came when Burger King came for placements and I was selected for the Panel Interview. I was nervous but happy. My interview went good and I wasn’t nervous as they already knew that I stuttered. The result came out the next day and I was selected. I couldn’t believe
that I was selected. I informed my parents and they were very happy and proud of me.
My college is about to get over and I have my final exams in May. After that I would be joining Burger King and finally I feel that I have achieved something inspite of the fact that I am a stutterer and it makes me feel very proud.

March 21, 2017

JAIPUR communication workshop_Minutes of meeting

With a hope in my heart and smile on my face, I boarded the train for Jaipur to attend the communication workshop organised by TISA. A fear of the unknown was there too, which just vanished when I saw fellow PWS at the station, all of us moving towards the common journey. The workshop kick-started with a warm welcome by Soumya, Sachin sir and team Jaipur. A quick introduction round, the one we as PWS dread so much, and we came to know the participants. The rules for the workshop were clear and well defined, smile, even during stammering, do not advice others, clap and cheers for the speaker, take care of the time. We practiced bouncing and prolongation, while giving our introduction and again and again, till we stopped fearing speaking out name. Well, that was a relief. We also conducted mock interviews with a list of questions in hand, with our workshop partners and carefully examined the communication pattern of the partner. Then we provided our feedback and then, roles were reversed. A completely fruitful exercise and with the feedback, we came to know our strengths and weaknesses. A delicious lunch and we moved on to our 'Thanks-giving' session. More often,we forget to give thanks and show gratitude to many things that we benefit from, in life, well, this session just made the day. We wrote things we are thankful for, in our lives and we realized many reasons to celebrate life. A quick tea break and we moved on to our outdoor activity. Central park in Jaipur made our evening. With the questionnaire in our hands, we went on to stop strangers and chat with them (politely, of course with Sachin sir acting as mediator, I must say, he knows how to convince someone to stop and chat). Many agreed to discuss with us about stammering, and many politely declined, which we took in a very healthy spirit and moved on. Each member must have talked to 11-12 strangers and all were very excited, which was evident in the later debriefing section, in which everybody shared their experiences of 'stranger talk' activity and were beaming with confidence. This was followed by a lovely dinner. Jaipur greeted us with downpour which cheered our faces. We also listened to some beautiful sufi songs by a Rajasthani crew, which performed just for us. We went on to enjoy our icecream's and bhel's near 'Amar jawan jyoti'. The day ended with some clicks on Jaipur roadside.

Next day kick-started with parantha as a breakfast and tea. Our first session included an inspirational talk with Sachin sir. He also explained about a phenomena called 'valsalva' which was very interesting to know about. We discussed our experiences about the 'stranger talk' and discussed other ways by which we can approach strangers. Dhruv facilitated a session of 'SMART' goal setting, both for individual and respective city SHG's. We discussed and a representative from every city shared their goals for next 6 months or a year, which we will be followed up regularly. An evening tea did its job and we did some role plays. We also did dancing, thanks to Anuprita for the wave step she taught us. We did some other fun filled activities, sher o- shayari in the evening. A mock interbiew session was also conducted for many SSC/CGIL/IAS aspirants.

A good bye underwent and we concluded the workshop with some pictures. These two days made an impression on all of us, which was also a life changing experience. We wish to imply all the techniques we learned and follow all our goals.
As Lao Tzu said, 'The journey of a thousand miles begin with one step''. Keeping this in mind, we took our first step towards self improvement.